Friday, August 04, 2006

Words of Wisdom

An e-pal of mine has just moved to Manhattan (Chelsea, no less!) recently.  He's finding it a tough town.  So I gave him the following advice:
(A preamble to my lady friends in New York: no, you are NOT fag hags; you do not hold our hands every weekend at the gay bars and clubs.  You, and we, have evolved beyond that, so the words below do not apply to you.)

"New York is a tough town; not for pussies, as I said.  The lonely-guy-in-the-big-city feeling is normal for new arrivals.  New Yorkers definitely aren't flaky, not in the LA sense at least.  What I think you're coming up against right now is the fact no one is taking you seriously.  You can't imagine home many new arrivals I met over my years there, so fresh and excited to be in New York, all the things they were going to do.  Then they either can't find work; can't cope with what it takes to live day-to-day in New York; or get caught up in The City and The Scene, overspend, overparty, run out of credit; and are back home within months promising to "return soon!  SOON!" and, of course, they never do.  No one will take you seriously until you've been there a year.  You have to prove yourself.
In tandem to that, you will find once you've been there a year, you'd rather gouge your eyes out than move back to where you came from.  Trust me on this.  You have to get through it.  It's worth it.  But you can't be a pussy.
You will find, eventually, though, that no one is your friend like a New Yorker is.  When they're your friends, they are your friends.  Someone told me this when I lived in San Francisco and I never understood it until I lived there.
As for the hag - NO!  Bad Manhattan homosexual!  Hags are only for guys under 22 or who live West of the Hudson.  You shed your hag by then in New York.  You will find they are nothing but a cock block. 
(Similarly, you cannot wear A&F if you live in Manhattan.  If you do, everyone will assume you're either a) from New Jersey, or b) just moved to New York and are about to fall off the proverbial edge and move back to Nebraska.  I don't think I have to warn a man of your ilk & calibre away from A&F, but you're from Chicago, so it's better to be safe than sorry.)"
I miss my gritty, hard city right now!

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