Wednesday, December 25, 2013

[The Life of Shaun #492] Merry Christmas

In all honesty, it doesn't really feel like Christmas.  Perhaps that's willful, or maybe I just don't understand what Christmas without a Mom is yet.

When I think where I was a year ago - freezing in Chicagoland, with Mom, Dad, the rest of the family - it seems so impossibly distant.  And when I think about the weeks that followed Christmas, it drains me in a way that living through it never did.

But I'm also not sad.  I miss Mom, but I'm not sad.  Natasha has been staying with me while Marco's been home in Germany, so I am not alone.  My calendar has been full of travel, dinners, drinks and TV nights in.  I am living in a city I love, and a flat I love coming home to.

Maybe that's why it doesn't quite feel like Christmas.  I expected it to be harder, but mostly there is good in my life.  Mom's outlook on life was "live, laugh, love", and that's exactly what I'm doing.

Merry Christmas, Mama.  I love you.






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Shaun H. Coley | Shadwell | Tower Hamlets | London E1 | UK | shaunism.blogspot.com

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