It's been quite a while since I've written anything. I'm not sure why. I've had some pretty interesting trips: Kiev/Chernobyl, Iceland, Paris with the family, and the (nearly) annual grand tour with Russ. Day-to-day life is pleasantly pleasant, but since I last wrote, Sushil and I have passed both two years of marriage and two years of cohabitation, Lisa has moved to London, and Marco has moved back in, so there's definitely been news on the homefront. I've just not felt emotive about any of it.
When I look back at the last updates I sent out, I see a lot of loss there, so maybe that's still working its way through. I've also been consciously aware of the relentless march through middle age, too many years into it now to pretend it's anything but.
I also feel a sense of settledness I've never had before. I am genuinely happily married and content in my job. I still look at flats in Clerkenwell on Zoopla, and occasionally daydream about moving to my expanding list of Brexit escape options, but in reality, I have no desire to leave my circles or my city. When so much of life has been about figuring out one side or another, what do you do once you've managed the urban trifecta?
So I don't know what's next. Or more accurately, I don't know what to work towards next. It seems all this settledness has left me feeling a bit...unsettled. If I were straight, this might be about the time in life when I started taking an interest in fast, expensive cars. I am quite content with my Oystercard though, so my response has been to nest, to keep things simple, and stay close to (often literally in) home.
As with everything, I know this too shall pass - I just don't know if it will be imperceptibly or with a bang. Until then, anyone up for Netflix and Deliveroo?
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