Sunday, 16 October 2016

[The Life of Shaun #539] The Life of Michelle

When I was young, I had some pretty naïve opinions on abortion.  Once I was a bit older, I realised that I will never understand the position a woman is in when she's making that choice, and decided that I (and all men, frankly) should defer to the women who actually must carry this burden.

Similarly, as a man, I will never understand the violation of casual sexual transgressions and the angst they cause.  For me, the revelation of the Trump tapes was just another in a series of repugnant statements by the Republican nominee.  But for many women, those words hit much closer to home.  As I am not genitally qualified to make a personal comment, today I turn over TLOS to my good friend Michelle Vensell:


In July I had lost faith.  I well and truly had.  I absolutely believed that Trump would pull it off.  That in this era of Real Housewives of X emulating, Kardashian worshipping, and sleeping on sidewalks for iPhones we had sort of lost our souls as humans.  People see Trump as a SAVIOR.

And quite honestly, it was not until "grab them by the p___y" that I was actually able to shake off the stupor of somnolence that had overcome me with that sad acceptance.  When I heard that, it woke old and bitter things.  I'm awake now and angry.

In speaking with my girlfriends about it:  I think that many of us came to a point as a young woman where we just accepted that it comes with the territory - guys can be grab-y.  In 6th grade, there was a game where the older boys would try to grab some of the new girls after school "in the coochie".  No one would complain because it was a game, after all.  

As adults, we dealt with it at work.  We dealt with it outside of work.  We accepted it and moved on.  That was how we dealt with it.  There was no official complaining then. 

It took me a long time to learn to not be okay with people touching me without my permission. 

Watching this video, I laugh in sadness and anger.  WILLFUL ignorance is such a - wait - I don't know that it is willful.  Is that the true tragedy here?  And these people want the "grab them by the p___y" guy to be the president of our nation?!  WTF?!


​
It's a personal choiceShaun H. Coley ~ Shadwell ~ Tower Hamlets ~ London E1 ~ UK ~ shaunism.blogspot.co.uk ~ #ImWithHer

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Saturday, 15 October 2016

[The Life of Shaun #538] 23 and Shaun

My 23andMe results have come back, showing that I am a pretty typical American mutt, and revealing a dark family secret: Mom was not 100% Swedish, as she believed.  Seems those Larsons and Widens were taking a few more amorous trips to mainland Europe than they admitted to.  I've also learned that I am more Neanderthal than most, and that I am 0.1% Ashkenazi Jew.  Oy, gevalt!

However, despite the increased clarity of my genetic make-up, my old descriptions stands: I am white and whiter.  Nothing exotic here, folks.

Cheers,
Shaun



​

​


It's a personal choiceShaun H. Coley ~ Shadwell ~ Tower Hamlets ~ London E1 ~ UK ~ shaunism.blogspot.co.uk ~ #ImWithHer

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Sunday, 9 October 2016

[The Life of Shaun #537] #ImWithHer


"Don't tell me 'gender isn't a factor' when Hillary Clinton is more despised for being cheated on than Trump is despised for cheating."

- Rachel Held Evans


It will come as no surprise who I am supporting in this presidential election.  I've been with her since I cast my ballot for her as New York's senator in 2000.  I voted for her in the primaries in 2008, and have already done my part by absentee ballot to turn Nevada blue this year (as well as legalise marijuana, and require background checks for all gun sales).



​

I wasn't at all surprised that Trump got the Republican nomination.  The GOP has been on a straight-line path from George W. Bush through Sarah Palin right to Trump.  If it hadn't been Trump this election, it would have been someone like Trump in another.

America is changing, and a lot of people are uncomfortable with that.  They remember the hegemony of the post-WWII era when all you had to do to be at the top of the global heap was be American and white, and they want that back.  That's not to say that there aren't real grievances that need addressing; America spends far too much on weapons and tax policies that favour the wealthy, and far too little on the education and health of its people.  One look around the audience at a Trump rally will show you that this is not what unites his supporters.



​

Hillary Clinton is not perfect, no candidate is.  But her imperfections grafted onto a male candidate would never provoke the vitriol and scorn that she has endured since entering public life.  She is smart, dedicated, and she is a very good politician.  She's probably the best-qualified candidate ever to run for this office, and she has accomplished all this on the most unequal of playing fields, under the relentless scrutiny of the twenty-four-hour news cycle.

As Trump stumbles from one embarassment to the next, I hope that more and more people realise that he is not fit to be on the same stage as Hillary Clinton, let alone be President of the United States.  As the NY Times summarised, "A new biography portrays [him] as a clownish, deceitful narcissist who took control of a powerful nation thanks to slick propaganda and a dysfunctional political elite that failed to block his rise".  Oh wait - that was about Hitler.




​

It's a personal choiceShaun H. Coley ~ Shadwell ~ Tower Hamlets ~ London E1 ~ UK ~ shaunism.blogspot.co.uk
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Sunday, 18 September 2016

[The Life of Shaun #535] The end of an era

After countless litres of booze, dozens of dodgy bars, and 7½ years - longer than I lived in New York - Marco will be moving out tomorrow.  It's an amicable parting, with no hurt feelings.  Living with two is different than living with one, especially in 68 m² (730 ft²), and coming back to Shadwell meant Marco's commute was again over an hour.  He will be moving up North, to Woodside Park, into a lovely flat with a large private garden, within walking distance to his work.

It feels a bit odd when I think of not living with Marco.  He's been an integral part of most of my London life.  We've had a lot, a lot, of good times, and very few bad ones.  Our circles of friends have become entangled, I've been to his home village and stayed with his family, he was with me through Mom's death, and
​he ​
was one of
​the
 witnesses at our wedding.  But it will be good for Sushil and me to live on our own, and to have the space to grow as a couple.  Life moves forward and things change.

Of course, this also means we have a guest room now - so who's coming to visit?!

Tschüß
​ ​
Marco, und viel Glück im Norden!
















​





It's a personal choiceShaun H. Coley ~ Shadwell ~ Tower Hamlets ~ London E1 ~ UK ~ shaunism.blogspot.co.uk

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Saturday, 27 August 2016

[The Life of Shaun #533] Beauty and the Beast

After far too long, Rachel came to visit this Summer for a few weeks.  We spent most of the time doing some good sittin' in a sweltering London, but took a side-trip to Kraków and Auschwitz in Poland.

Kraków, unlike much of Poland, was not heavily bombed in WWII, so the historic city is largely intact.  The city served as capital to various kings and governments (including the Nazis under occupation), and is full of handsome buildings and squares as a result.  The old city is largely pedestrianised, and its cobbled streets, once emptied of Poles and Jews to make way for new German residents, are filled with young, artistic locals, tourists from around the globe, and a few (but not too many) stag/hen does.

The historic Jewish Quarter (now home to only five Jewish families, I was told) is especially hip, with restaurants and galleries that could easily be in Shoreditch, especially if you steer clear of the most popular stag/hen streets.  We had fantastic food, the drinks were cheap, and everyone under middle age spoke English, so it was a very easy, and lovely, city to visit.

Like many visitors to Kraków, we spent a day at Auschwitz, the largest and most notorious of Nazi Germany's many extermination and labour camps.  "Auschwitz" is used to refer to what are actually three separate, and very different, concentration camps around the Polish city of OÅ›wiÄ™cim (Germanised to Auschwitz).

Auschwitz I was converted from Polish military barracks, and was the most coveted of the three locations.  Its buildings were brick and solid, so relatively better protected from the elements, and, other than for a period of experimentation, had no gas chamber, so internment there meant that you would be put to work, giving you a chance to survive.

The camp officials quickly realised that they could not kill and dispose of bodies quickly enough using the gas chamber at Auschwitz I, which was converted from a bunker, so they used the prisoners as slave labour to build Auschwitz II-Birkenau a few miles away.  This was a much, much larger camp with four massive custom-designed gas chambers.  This is the camp that is famous as "Auschwitz", where most of the mass executions took place, where Josef Mengele performed his experiments, and where the vast majority of the lucky ones chosen for work detail lived and died.

Auschwitz III-Monowitz met a commercial need; it was built to house the slave labour for IG Farben, a chemical and pharmaceutical conglomerate, which had a large rubber plant at the site.  Initially workers were marched daily from Auschwitz I and II, but that proved to be too inefficient as it was a lengthy walk and the prisoners were too tired to work as hard as required.  The site is still in use today, and IG Farben lives on, split up after the war into AGFA, BASF, Bayer and Sanofi.

The scale and terror of Auschwitz, and especially Auschwitz II, is shocking.  It's unknowable how many people died there, as they only registered those who were selected for work detail.  The vast majority of people were killed on arrival, and at peak capacity they could gas 6,000 people each day.  Even the lowest estimates put the death toll at over one million people, but whatever the number, it's unfathomable.  It's unbelievable that people could do this to other people, that one group could vilify another to the point of no longer considering them human.  In these times of Trump, Brexit and rising nationalism around the globe, it's vital to remember where this "us vs. them" ideology can lead.  We're only one generation removed from the horrors of WWII, but already forgetting its lessons.  

Shaun



The old city


A square in the old city, where drinks were had


St. Mary's Basilica, at the heart of Kraków


This is when Saturday started to go wrong...


Kraków makes the most of its Summers, with outdoor drinking and dining throughout the historic core.


In the Jewish Quarter


Kraków


The infamous "Arbeit macht frei", "Work sets you free", at the entrance to Auschwitz I


Nazi ideology


The barracks and other structures of the camps are horrendous enough, but it's possible to put a bit of emotional distance between yourself and an anonymous building.  The personal effects of people, however, cannot be detached.  When you see a suitcase, glasses or pair of children's shoes, you know they belonged to a person, someone who was almost certainly murdered shortly after being robbed of those possessions.


For me, the most gut-wrenching display was of piles of women's hair.  The Nazis sold the hair of women killed in the gas chambers to the German textile industry for 50 pfennigs a kilogram.  There were 1,950 kgs of hair on hand when Auschwitz was liberated.  How many women have to be killed to make 1,950 kgs?


When you hear stories of people living for years in the camps, they are the rare exceptions - most people lasted a few months at best.


In rare instances, some people did escape from Auschwitz.  As a deterrent, for each escapee, the SS would choose ten people at random to be put in a cell to starve to death.  Friar Kolbe was sainted after volunteering to go in another man's place.  After two weeks, the guards killed him as he still hadn't died.  The man he saved lived to see the liberation of the camp.


Poles and hooks where prisoners were tied up by their arms, behind their backs.


In all weather, even in the deep freeze of Polish Winter, the prisoners were made to stand outdoors for roll call.  Only the Nazi commander had any shelter from the elements.


Morning/evening roll calls were often preceded by a mass hanging for often minor infractions, as a warning to the others.


Rudolf Höss and other commandants of Auschwitz lived with their families in luxury just outside the camp's walls, so close you could see the prisoner blocks and old crematorium from the upstairs window. Höss's wife described the place as "paradise": they had cooks, nannies, gardeners, chauffeurs, seamstresses, haircutters and cleaners, most of whom were prisoners. The family decorated their home with furniture and artwork stolen from prisoners as they were selected for the gas chambers.


Inside the original gas chamber of Auschwitz I, where gassing techniques were tested before larger-scale killing was started at Auschwitz II.


A railway car used to bring in prisoners to Auschwitz II


As they retreated in defeat, the Nazis tried to destroy as much evidence as possible of their crimes.  Most of the barracks at Auschwitz II, especially those built later, were made of wood and burned down as the Nazis fled; only their brick chimneys remain.


This picture is taken from just outside one of the gas chambers at Auschwitz II.  In the distance was the entrance to the camp.  Far to the right stretched brick barracks, and even farther to the left wooden ones.  Originally those chosen for immediate death had to walk from the gate to the chambers, but this lessened the speed at which executions could take place, so the tracks were eventually extended right to the gas chambers.


Stronger inmates fought for the top bunks, whereas the weakest slept on the floor level.  Prisoners frequently were too ill to control their bodily functions, and their effusions would drip onto the levels below.  Prisoners were packed so tightly they had to sleep on their sides and could not turn over, except for those lucky enough to be assigned toilet duty, as no one wanted to sleep next to them.


The stairs leading into the undressing room of one of the gas chambers.  The Nazis blew up the structures on retreat, but their foundations and much rubble still remain.


After removing their clothing, the prisoners were packed into a room that was about half the size of the undressing room.  The people were intentionally packed in tightly together, as Zyklon B, the gas eventually used for most executions, would not vaporise from its pellet form into hydrogen cyanide unless the temperature was 27°C (81°F) or above.




It's a personal choiceShaun H. Coley ~ Shadwell ~ Tower Hamlets ~ London E1 ~ UK ~ shaunism.blogspot.co.uk
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Sunday, 31 July 2016

[The Life of Shaun #532] Paper Towns

Sushil and I decided to go to Vegas for our one-year anniversary to see where I am from, and so he could continue the onslaught of introductions and backstories of my life.  But first, to ease him in, we weekended in America's gem, San Francisco.

San Francisco is always lovely, and it was a lot of fun to show Sushil around and play tourist.  Coming from India, he's not familiar with San Francisco's place in the (Western) gay psyche and our history, Harvey Milk, flower power or any of the images that come to the American mind in relation to the City by the Bay.  For him it was just a beautiful, fun city, so Russ and I engaged him in brief lessons over cocktails and Orphan Andy's.  We were only there Friday night to Monday, but we managed most of the Castro bars and main must-sees, including the required Summertime disappointment of trying to see the Golden Gate Bridge, and instead getting a wall of fog rolling in.

On the Fourth, it was off to my hometown to begin the whirlwind tour of new faces.  For the anniversary itself we had dinner at the Venetian, a prototypical Strip casino with a faux urbanity modelled on its namesake, followed by Russ taking us to Cirque du Soleil's Mystère, which was awesome.  From the next day we set into a pattern: lunch meeting someone, dinner meeting someone, cocktails.  I gave Sushil the Coley tour with Fern, showing him where I lived for my first memories, and where I mostly grew up, as well as my last schools.  It was great to introduce him to so many important people from my life, and it all culminated in a fantastic spread and drinks my friend PD laid out for us and some mutual high-school friends.  

It was really weird at times to be showing Sushil around where I grew up.  We'd be driving down streets and I'd have memories of how I felt as a teenager there, the angst, the weight of homophobia, how I wondered if I would ever get out, ever have sex, ever meet "the one" or even someone - and there'd be this man I'd met in Mumbai, and who lives with me in London, in the car next to me on those very same streets.  Those two parts of my life seem so far apart, in every way, that it was sometimes surreal to have them overlap.

It was crazy hot, as Vegas Julys are, so Sushil got the full Mojave experience.  He occasionally broke out in a light sweat, whereas my skin dried up, and my face turned red and flaked; there's definitely no Mediterranean mixed in with these genes.  Fortunately, Russ views home acclimation much as I do, so there was very little time where I wasn't under a direct stream of air conditioning.  But next time, I think I'll have to show Sushil what a desert Winter is like.

Viva Las Vegas,
Shaun




Sushil at Twin Peaks


The painted ladies


Lombard Street


The Transamerica Pyramid, just outside the House of Nanking, a favourite from my San Francisco days


Sushil learned first hand about San Francisco's permissive nudity laws.


The homeland!


I think there's something Papa Smurf's been hiding from us, but suddenly those red chaps make more sense...


Brunch with Belle and Spesh!


A real anniversary dinner with real margaritas, on a faux canal, in a faux village, under a faux sky.



Sushil got a kick out of seeing me behind the wheel, rather than the other side of the Uber app.



Hoover Dam, with the white ring showing how far Lake Mead's water level has fallen in the past years.


Fern and I outside our high school: Eldog!  Woof!  Woof, woof, woof, woof!


My last, and longest-lived-in, family home in Vegas.  (My Senior year I lived with the wonderful and generous Berrys.)


The Las Vegas Valley, stretching out to Sunrise Mountain, on whose foothills I mostly grew up.


Sushil took me on the Big Shot, 329m (1,081 ft.) atop the Stratosphere Tower.  He was a little more excited than I was...



And then the crazy fool took a spinning swing ride, hanging off the side of the tower.


Overlooking the Strip.


Downtown Las Vegas and the Fremont Experience; I definitely prefer Downtown to the Strip.  Sushil donated $60 to the local economy, whereas I left $3 and four free cocktails up.



My friend from Cass, Argie, came up from LA to visit.


Oh Vegas, really?



Russ and I hidden behind the world's most overcrowded brunch table.


Sin City from the air


It's a personal choiceShaun H. Coley ~ Shadwell ~ Tower Hamlets ~ London E1 ~ UK ~ shaunism.blogspot.co.uk

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